I am puke
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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