just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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