At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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