with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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