Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
