Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
