Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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