I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
