Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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