That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
no you cant smoke seaweed
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
