she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
