I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
