My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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