i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize