It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
