the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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