hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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