Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
A bitchslap is in order.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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