This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
