your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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