ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
