I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
