I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
