I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
