I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
