doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
