I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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