my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
