She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
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I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
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Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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