i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I've blown a few things in my day
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
