Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She even gives head with a lisp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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