that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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