HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
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He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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