It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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