I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
