I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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