update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
