I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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