just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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