OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize