arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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