She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I can't turn off my feet"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
