Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
