i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
