She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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