Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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