her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
