oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
