We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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