I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
