I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
