week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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