Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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