I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
