Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
