I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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