Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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