Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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