yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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